Let the Blames Begin
Pastor Dave Bentley
Several years ago I read an article in NEW MAN magazine under the heading “Good Spousekeeping” that dealt with the issue of blame. It identified blame as sort of a marital perk. If something is not working right in our lives we have someone we can blame it on. For example consider the following:
I go to the doctor and he is concerned about my weight. He scolds me because we have had the same conversation for years now. He tells me once again that I’m over-weight, and if I don’t do something about it I will die because of it. However, I have my response ready. My wife is a great cook, and I love to eat her cooking. Therefore, she is to blame for my obesity and poor health. The doctor is not amused nor swayed by my reasoning in blaming my wife for my circumstance. In fact he gets a little testy and rest of the exam he is increasingly “harsh” with the poking and prodding. To comfort myself I stop off at the ice cream store on the way home. Now my weight is the doctor’s fault as well.
See the circular logic of the blame game.
The Blame Game has been around from the beginning of time. Waaaaay back in the garden there was plenty of blame to go around. Adam blamed Eve…and indirectly blamed God. Eve blamed the serpent. You could literally say that every person on the planet was trying to pass the buck…who cares that there were only two persons on the planet. Point is, blame came naturally to them, and it still comes naturally to us today.
Think for just a moment about the people who often get our blame for things gone awry.
· Our Boss
· Our Employees
· Our Neighbors
· Our Kids
· Our Parents
· Our Spouse
· The Devil
· God
There’s still plenty of blame to go around. However, what has blame ever solved. It didn’t solve anything in the garden, and it doesn’t solve anything now. I assure you that my wife has many things that she could pin the blame on me for. However, in grace, mercy, and love, she chooses instead to grant me forgiveness. I probably could come up with one or two things that I could pin the blame on Andie for, but again I would rather choose to let “love cover a multitude of sins.” [1 Peter 4.8]
Fact is, pointing the finger really accomplishes diddley squat. Consider these effects of blame:
· Blame never affirms, it assaults.
· Blame never solves, it complicates.
· Blame never unites, it separates.
· Blame never forgives, it rejects.
· Blame never forgets, it remembers.
· Blame never builds, it destroys.
Pastor Dave Bentley
Several years ago I read an article in NEW MAN magazine under the heading “Good Spousekeeping” that dealt with the issue of blame. It identified blame as sort of a marital perk. If something is not working right in our lives we have someone we can blame it on. For example consider the following:
I go to the doctor and he is concerned about my weight. He scolds me because we have had the same conversation for years now. He tells me once again that I’m over-weight, and if I don’t do something about it I will die because of it. However, I have my response ready. My wife is a great cook, and I love to eat her cooking. Therefore, she is to blame for my obesity and poor health. The doctor is not amused nor swayed by my reasoning in blaming my wife for my circumstance. In fact he gets a little testy and rest of the exam he is increasingly “harsh” with the poking and prodding. To comfort myself I stop off at the ice cream store on the way home. Now my weight is the doctor’s fault as well.
See the circular logic of the blame game.
The Blame Game has been around from the beginning of time. Waaaaay back in the garden there was plenty of blame to go around. Adam blamed Eve…and indirectly blamed God. Eve blamed the serpent. You could literally say that every person on the planet was trying to pass the buck…who cares that there were only two persons on the planet. Point is, blame came naturally to them, and it still comes naturally to us today.
Think for just a moment about the people who often get our blame for things gone awry.
· Our Boss
· Our Employees
· Our Neighbors
· Our Kids
· Our Parents
· Our Spouse
· The Devil
· God
There’s still plenty of blame to go around. However, what has blame ever solved. It didn’t solve anything in the garden, and it doesn’t solve anything now. I assure you that my wife has many things that she could pin the blame on me for. However, in grace, mercy, and love, she chooses instead to grant me forgiveness. I probably could come up with one or two things that I could pin the blame on Andie for, but again I would rather choose to let “love cover a multitude of sins.” [1 Peter 4.8]
Fact is, pointing the finger really accomplishes diddley squat. Consider these effects of blame:
· Blame never affirms, it assaults.
· Blame never solves, it complicates.
· Blame never unites, it separates.
· Blame never forgives, it rejects.
· Blame never forgets, it remembers.
· Blame never builds, it destroys.
Let's admit it -- not until we stop blaming will we start enjoying health and happiness again! Stop the finger pointing in marriage and get back to hand holding. Do not forget you are on the same team. Instead of blaming start forgiving. Chances are you share in the blame anyway.
I hope that you find this information helpful.
But, if not, don’t blame me.
-DB
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