Let the Blames Begin

Let the Blames Begin
Pastor Dave Bentley

Several years ago I read an article in NEW MAN magazine under the heading “Good Spousekeeping” that dealt with the issue of blame. It identified blame as sort of a marital perk. If something is not working right in our lives we have someone we can blame it on. For example consider the following:

I go to the doctor and he is concerned about my weight. He scolds me because we have had the same conversation for years now. He tells me once again that I’m over-weight, and if I don’t do something about it I will die because of it. However, I have my response ready. My wife is a great cook, and I love to eat her cooking. Therefore, she is to blame for my obesity and poor health. The doctor is not amused nor swayed by my reasoning in blaming my wife for my circumstance. In fact he gets a little testy and rest of the exam he is increasingly “harsh” with the poking and prodding. To comfort myself I stop off at the ice cream store on the way home. Now my weight is the doctor’s fault as well.

See the circular logic of the blame game.

The Blame Game has been around from the beginning of time. Waaaaay back in the garden there was plenty of blame to go around. Adam blamed Eve…and indirectly blamed God. Eve blamed the serpent. You could literally say that every person on the planet was trying to pass the buck…who cares that there were only two persons on the planet. Point is, blame came naturally to them, and it still comes naturally to us today.

Think for just a moment about the people who often get our blame for things gone awry.
· Our Boss
· Our Employees
· Our Neighbors
· Our Kids
· Our Parents
· Our Spouse
· The Devil
· God

There’s still plenty of blame to go around. However, what has blame ever solved. It didn’t solve anything in the garden, and it doesn’t solve anything now. I assure you that my wife has many things that she could pin the blame on me for. However, in grace, mercy, and love, she chooses instead to grant me forgiveness. I probably could come up with one or two things that I could pin the blame on Andie for, but again I would rather choose to let “love cover a multitude of sins.” [1 Peter 4.8]

Fact is, pointing the finger really accomplishes diddley squat. Consider these effects of blame:
· Blame never affirms, it assaults.
· Blame never solves, it complicates.
· Blame never unites, it separates.
· Blame never forgives, it rejects.
· Blame never forgets, it remembers.
· Blame never builds, it destroys.

Let's admit it -- not until we stop blaming will we start enjoying health and happiness again! Stop the finger pointing in marriage and get back to hand holding. Do not forget you are on the same team. Instead of blaming start forgiving. Chances are you share in the blame anyway.

I hope that you find this information helpful.

But, if not, don’t blame me.

-DB

Fear Factor

I was almost a fraidy cat once, but I chickened out.



Fear.

"You have nothing to fear but fear itself."
- President Franklin D. Roosevelt

According to Dr. Sydney B. Simon in an article on the Effects of Fear -

• Fear is the great paralyzer. It will keep you from making positive changes in your life and thus retard your recovery from depression. Recognize your fears and resolve to overcome them. This is an area in which I believe a therapist can be very helpful.
• Fear persuades you to set easier goals and do less than your are capable of.
• Fear triggers internal defense systems and fools you into thinking that you have perfectly good reasons not to change.
• Fear, especially fear of failure or disappointment, reduces the number of available alternatives or keeps you from pursuing them.
• Fear, particularly fear of making mistakes, causes indecisiveness and confusion. It stops you from knowing what you really want.
• Fear warps your perception of your life and what you can do to make it better.
• Fear keeps you from asking for help when you need it.
• Fear keeps you from asserting yourself and persuades you to settle for what you must settle for instead of going after what you want.
• To calm your fears, you develop unhealthy habits and behavior problems.
• Fear often makes you give up just one step short of your goal.
• Fear keeps you from taking risks.
  Sidney B. Simon, “Getting Unstuck: Breaking Through Your Barriers To Change,” 1988

Fear can keep us captive in emotional, spiritual, and physical prisons.

Why does fear, which seems like such a small thing, carry such a debilitating power over us? In the past few weeks I've surveyed people and gotten a number of enlightening responses concerning the powerful effect fear has had in their lives, as well as some of their remedies in handling fear. Perhaps some of the best advice that I have received on this is that we need to stop placing so much stock in what we feel and put more emphasis on where our faith is. Our senses don't tell us the whole story. Consider this from Scripture:

2 Kings 6:8-18
8 When the king of Aram was waging war against Israel, he conferred with his servants, “My camp will be at such and such a place.” 9 But the man of God sent [word] to the king of Israel: “Be careful passing by this place, for the Arameans are going down there.” 10 Consequently, the king of Israel sent [word] to the place the man of God had told him about. The man of God repeatedly warned the king, so the king would be on his guard. 11 The king of Aram was enraged because of this matter, and he called his servants and demanded of them, “Tell me, which one of us is for the king of Israel?” 12 One of his servants said, “No one, my lord the king. Elisha, the prophet in Israel, tells the king of Israel even the words you speak in your bedroom.” 13 So the king said, “Go and see where he is, so I can send [men] to capture him.” When he was told, “Elisha is in Dothan,” 14 he sent horses, chariots, and a massive army there. They went by night and surrounded the city. 15 When the servant of the man of God got up early and went out, he discovered an army with horses and chariots surrounding the city. So he asked Elisha, “Oh, my master, what are we to do?” 16 Elisha said, “Don’t be afraid, for those who are with us outnumber those who are with them.” 17 Then Elisha prayed, “Lord, please open his eyes and let him see.” So the Lord opened the servant’s eyes. He looked and saw that the mountain was covered with horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 18 When the Arameans came against him, Elisha prayed to the Lord, “Please strike this nation with blindness.” So He struck them with blindness, according to Elisha’s word.

The servants eyes (feelings/senses) told him that they were in trouble. But the reality of faith in One Greater shows us that even when it looks hopeless it is not.

So, the answer to fear is not our feelings but our faith. When the disciples were terrified by the stormy sea the Lord asked, "where is your faith." When the prophet was cowering in a cave ready to give it all up the problem was he was overcome by his feelings and had turned away from his faith.

One of those catchy slogans that appears on church signs and in bulletins sometimes tells us that "If God Calls you To It God will Get you Through it." The fact is that if God calls you to it...He is WITH YOU through it. That's what he told Joshua. Take a look at Joshua chapter 1 and see the number of times the Lord tells him not to fear. Why? Because He would be with him through it all.

Until the Next Time
Be Blessed,
Pastor Dave

Current Events from Ancient History

I Had a Thought This Morning in my Quiet Time

This morning as I was reading from Joshua I heard God speaking into my life. It occurred to me a few moments later the irony of what was happening.

How many of us seeking information for current events would consult a document written thousands of years prior. Yet, that's what was happening in my life this morning. Words from millenia ago were speaking to my life today. Who can accomplish this but God. What an amazing blessings we have been given, and how often we take for granted the wonder of God's Word.

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

So, break the seal and read God's Word today...listen to what God says to you.