Where is God When Life Stinks?

Where is God When Life Stinks?

Pastor Dave Bentley

Thought-Provoking Discussions

I have just had some very thought-provoking discussions with some young ladies in our youth group. The topic ranged to a variety of things, but in the end it came to rest on this subject, “Where is God when life stinks?” It’s a challenging question that beckons us far beyond “In the beginning God created…” and beneath the surface of “God is love…” to the place where we find that even “Jesus wept.”

I have looked up a variety of references on sorrow and suffering, and initially intended to focus on Job for this, but then something caught my eye, or more appropriately my heart. The surprising story of a wounded warrior who struggled with the same questions I was being asked today.

A Desperate Cry and Uncomfortable Question

Listen to this: “My tears have been my meat day and night, while

they continually say unto me, where is thy God?”

(Psalm 42.3)

Could there ever be a more desperate cry? Who is this that God would seemingly abandon? Surely this must be a person of little faith, perhaps not even a believer at all.

Actually this is the heart-rending cry of David. David, the giant killing warrior and shepherd-king of Israel. David, the “man after God’s own heart.” David, the musician responsible for incredible songs of praise. How can this man, so blessed and used by God come to a place in his life that these are the words that drip from his pen?

I don’t even pretend that I will be able to adequately answer this challenge, but I hope that some of what I can share in insight will inspire and instruct and lead those who will tread out into the deeper places to search and find the riches that await those willing to trust God—even in times of sorrow and suffering.

I wish I could…

I wish I could tell you that once you become a follower of God you won’t ever have to worry about suffering and sorrow again. Fact is many have heard such misleading promises only to find themselves broken in the wake of the reality of life. When I first became a follower of Christ I expected that my life was going to get better…get easier…get awesome. Then I was smacked on the forehead with real life. I was disheartened to discover that life actually seemed to get harder.

The first clue for us should be the experiences of the followers of God throughout history. Job is only one of the many faithful followers who faced suffering in spite of their righteousness and faithfulness. Here’s a quick list of people who come to mind who suffered even though they were faithful.

• Joseph – sold into slavery by his brothers and later imprisoned for a crime he did not commit.

· Moses – Hiding out in the dessert for forty years as a shepherd when once he had walked the halls of the house of pharaoh.

· David – His own son ursurped the throne and attempted to have him killed.

What about in the New Testament

· Mary and Martha lost their brother Lazarus (even though he was returned to them four days later)

· All the disciples except John were killed for following Jesus.

· Philip, a man full of the Spirit, was stoned to death for his faith.

· Paul would be killed in Rome for proclaiming the Gospel of Christ

· And, let’s not forget that Jesus himself suffered and died on the cross in a horrific execution for following the will of God.

Then there are the numerous believers throughout history since the days of the Bible who have suffered…who have face unspeakable sorrow…who have even died even though they were faithful followers of Jesus Christ, servants of the most high God.

God is Good…All the Time

We say that with almost a sing-song sound in our voice. For sometime we were in a church where we would say this phrase in a form of recitation. One person would say, “God is Good all the time” and the rest would then echo, “All the time God is Good.” And I know that I believed that then and I believe it now. But that means that God is good…when it’s sunny and when it’s raining. God is good when I’m up and when I’m down. God is good when life is great and when life isn’t so great.

There’s a song that has come to mean a lot to me. Each time we sing it I am at once encouraged and challenged. My faith is stretched by the honesty of the lyrics. The song is “Blessed by Your Name” written by Matt Redman. It’s lyrics challenge us to bless the name of the Lord when the streams of abundance flow as well as on the road marked with suffering. To be able to praise Him when we are found in the dessert place…the wilderness as easily as when the suns shining down. (I would encourage you to look up the lyrics and song and listen to it if you can.)

The lesson in that song, and the lesson in Scripture is that God is…and God is good all the time. It’s not a question, and it’s not based on our circumstances or experiences. God is…and God is Good. Because of that we can bless His name and praise Him, no matter what.

God is There…All the Time

Another important lesson for us to grasp is that God is THERE all the time. Here’s an interesting experience from Scripture…think about this…

Matthew 8:23-27
²³ As He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him.
²⁴ Suddenly, a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves. But He was sleeping.
²⁵ So the disciples came and woke Him up, saying, “Lord, save [us]! We’re going to die!”
²⁶ But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, you of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea. And there was a great calm.
²⁷ The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this?—even the winds and the sea obey Him!” [HCSB]

Did you notice that Jesus was right there. He didn’t keep the storm from coming, He was with them through the storm. The storm was severe and apparently life-threatening, even though these were His closest associates. He doesn’t promise that we won’t face storms and hardship. He assures us of His presence in the midst of the storm. God is there…all the time.

God is Trustworthy…all the Time

We started by reading part of David’s soul lament in the beginning, but listen to what else he says in that same psalm: Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God. (Ps. 42.11b)

This is an incredible step of faith and trust. To find hope in the midst of the trials of life. To find strength to praise even when you are enduring the suffering and sorrow. Because of his hope David literally declares that

In spite of the turmoil…I will praise Him

In spite of the pain…I will praise him

In spite of the doubts…I will praise Him

David had known many difficulties over the course of his life. He had been in mortal danger numerous times. Yet, through all of these trials and hardships he maintained his relationship with the Lord, his Shepherd. He knew well the valley of the shadow, but he also had encountered the green meadows beside quiet waters. (Ps. 23) Because of these experiences and encounters with the Lord, David knew, and we can too, that God is trustworthy…all the time.

Where is God when Life Stinks?

The question doesn’t get any easier to answer, but I pray that the circumstances of life will become easier to bear, with faith and trust in God. Because, Satan will still whisper, “Where is your God now?” Those around us are observing us to see if we will walk what we talk, especially when life throws us a curve ball. But, let’s think about some of those ancient friends who experienced suffering and hardship.

While Joseph was sitting in that dark prison God was at work planning a way for his escape. No, God didn’t forget him. God didn’t forsake him. God knew where he was. And in God’s own perfect time he came on the scene.

Remember Moses? Stranded by the Red Sea with nowhere to run. Where was God? Oh, He was getting ready to implement his plans! You know the story, the waters departed and the people of Israel walked over to the other side on dry ground!

Remember Mary and Martha? They called for Jesus to come, but he just ignored their request. But just when they thought all hope was gone, Jesus came on the scene. For you see, even death cannot stop Jesus. For He is the resurrection and the life!

Remember the disciples? Just when it seemed all hope was gone. Just when they thought they were going to sink to the bottom of that raging sea, Jesus came walking upon the water.

Where was Jesus? Oh, He was aware that death had taken Lazarus. He was aware the storm was about to destroy the disciple’s boat. He was aware that Joseph was in that Egyptian jail. He was aware that Job lost all he had and was sitting in agony scrapping the boils on his body. And He is aware what you are facing today! He is aware what you are going through.

So, when Satan sneers at you and with sulfur ridden breaths hisses, “Where is your God now?” You take a breath and state with faith and hope…real hope…that God is right where He has always been. Right here with me, even in the midst of this trial and hardship. He is as good, as presents, and as trustworthy as He always has been. Just like when everything was going great, God is good. Just like when it felt like I was walking hand in hand with Him, God is here. Just like when it seemed life couldn’t be any better, God is trustworthy.

Sure, at times our feelings tell us that God is millions of miles away. At times we seem to be galaxies removed. But, take a look at what Job stated at one point, even after he had lost everything and was being accused by even his friends of having brought it all on himself. “Yet He knows the way I have taken; when He has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold.” (Job 23.10) God knows…He is aware…nothing escapes His sight. He is as near as the air around you, as the breath you take when you inhale. That’s close…that’s intimate…that’s our God.

God Knows All About You

What a comfort to have this assurance, God knows. He knows all your pain and anxieties. He is aware of your loneliness. He sees the trials you face each and every day. He knows about your family troubles. He knows about your finances. He knows about your heartbreak. He knows how you feel inside, really he does!

He is still as Good…still as Present…still as Trustworthy as He has ever been.

Where’s the Beef?

I got a magazine from the college I attended recently with a note about the president’s address earlier this fall that was done in a series of three chapel talks based on the old Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef?” commercials. If you remember those ad, Clara Peller would repeatedly ask “where’s the beef” when she lifted the fluffy bun top off the burgers of various fast food companies. The problem was that they might look real good with those nice fluffy buns, but the real substance was lacking.

In the series of messages there was a challenge to be more than just “fluffy bun believers” but to really be “beefy believers.” In other words, bring substance into our lives.

Here are the three areas of substance that we need to focus in on.

1. Beef-Up in the area of Love

The people around us expect that we are going to be different. We are commanded time and time again in scripture to be people of love, even to the extent that we would express love to our enemies. However, sometimes it is hard to see whether or not we even love our own family let alone those who are against us. We need to “beef-up” our love for…

· One Another

· The Lost

· The Hurting

· Our Enemies

As one of those old “camp-fire” songs I used to sing so often says, “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

2. Beef-Up in the Area of Service

The meat of our lives is expressed in our service. How we respond to the needs around us will show the substance of who we are. Jesus did what needed to be done, even when it was hard, unpopular, and unappreciated. We need to stop whining…stop making excuses…and get engaged in serving. There are so many needs, we don’t have time to sit back and complain. Let the world see the servant in you…Jesus as He touches lives through you.

3. Beef-Up in the Area of Worship

Worship unashamed. This is more than just showing up to church on Sunday at 10. It’s letting worship, praise, and appreciation flow in your life. It’s learning to give thanks—even in difficult circumstances. See, “fluffy-bun-believers” are all there for the music, preaching, and good feeling Sunday service…but real “beefed-up believers” learn to live a life where worship is real substance. They can say, with Job who had lost so much, “I know that my Redeemer lives!” They can shout “Praise the Lord!” as the hordes converge on them. They can whisper a prayer of thanks for the broken road they are on. They can sing “Blessed be your name” on roads marked with suffering and in the dessert place.

So there are three key ares – Love, Service, Worship—where we as believers could use some real substance…the beef of our lives. Look beneath the fluffy buns of our life…do you see beef, or are you wondering with those around you, where’s the beef.

What do you do if you find that you are more Fluff than Beef?

First, confess that, because it is not God’s will for you. Agree with God that you are not where you know He wants you to be in these areas. Step one in any road to recovery is to admit there is a problem.

Second, commit to turning from where you are to where He wants you to be. This is accomplished by seeking Him in Bible reading/study, prayer, worship, and service. Yes, as you do the things He’s asking you to do you will be continually getting closer to Him.

Third, recognize where you are so that when you begin to slip from time to time—and you will—you will be more aware of it and able to respond by getting back on track.

People around us are wondering, “Where’s the Beef?” They are looking—and longing—for the substance of what and who we are as followers of Jesus Christ. They are expecting us to be different and to offer them a better way then what the rest of the world offers. We can, but it means we need to “Beef-Up” as believers. So, let’s bulk up on what matters and let the substance be visible beyond the fluff.

Blessings,

Pastor Dave

(Dr. Thomas Kinchen is president of The Baptist College of Florida)

A Book to Help the Bi-Vocational Pastor

I have a friend who is a church planting missionary in Vermont. He encourages pastors already in the ministry and also mentors young men who are just starting out in ministry. One of the things he tells them is that most likely they will have to work a second job in order to provide for their families. This is often referred to as bivocational ministry. Very few pastors want to be bivocational. It is hard to work two jobs, but this is the reality that many pastors will face in ministry.

Regardless of how pastors and/or church attendees may feel about bivocational ministry, it is a growing practice in North American church life. Patricia Chang is a research professor at Boston College and has studied many denominations and written extensively about clergy issues. Chang has done extensive research on how bivocational ministry is impacting American denominations of all sizes and theological persuasions. In a major study published in the Pulpit and Pew journal of Duke University, Chang concludes that "the majority of congregations in the United States are small, with fewer than 100 regular members, and cannot typically afford their own pastor." This results in a growing need for more bivocational pastors every year.

My friend in Vermont wanted to help pastors who have to work two jobs, so he wrote a book entitled, Developing Leadership Teams in the Bivocational Church. This book helps both the pastor and the lay leaders understand the importance of sharing leadership in the church. He has been using these principles in churches in Vermont for several years. It has worked very well. I think it work will for other churches too. I want to encourage you to consider buying the book, which is available at Amazon.com and a variety of other online retailers. You can also request it at most Christian bookstores.

THE OTHER SIDE OF MARRIAGE

The Other Side of Marriage

As I write this my wife and I are celebrating our twenty-second year of marriage together. In addition, as I write this I am playing the part of nurse, house keeper, and waiter for her as she recovers from surgery. This is what I think of when I say the other side of marriage. See, the vows we took 22 years ago encouraged us to be faithful to one another in times of prosperity, health, good times, and we enjoy those times together. The other side of those life circumstances are times of want, sickness, and bad times. It went like something like this:

“I vow that I will love, honor, and cherish you for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part.”

Let’s face it…we all love the positive sides of those life circumstances, but the “other side” is always there lurking in the shadows. We bask in the times of prosperity, but there are moments when prosperity gives way to poverty. We relish times of good health, but illness, surgery, physical weakness come and challenge us. We enjoy the good times that life offers us, but there are difficult and stressful times that enter our experience as well.

The other sides of marriage have left many broken and wrecked on the rocks of hardship. Facing difficulty brings stressors into a relationship that can unbraid even the tightest of knots. Facing these times of trial with patience, understanding, and most of all an over-covering love are critical if the union is to survive the throes of life.

So, for my anniversary (and her birthday) my gift to her is the continuation of the love I vowed to give her so long ago. Today as I bring her lunch, clean the house, offer her Advil, and do whatever else is needed, I’m fulfilling my part of the other side of our marriage. It may seem like it’s the lesser side, but I have learned something else about these “other sides.” It’s in these moments together that our love has grown stronger and we have grown closer. In 22 years we have faced a variety of “other sides” and because we have made the choice to cling to each other through them all we have ended up closer and stronger.

Quiet Time on a Lawn Mower

This morning I was out mowing the lawn and praying. It takes a couple hours so it's a good time to pray. As I rode up around the church I prayed for the church. I prayed for each person who is a part of the family. I prayed for the leadership. I prayed for people who are coming to be part of the family. I prayed for the remaining work to be done on the building. I prayed for the changes we are going to be making and for the restoration of our connection and unity in the community of faith.

Mowing around the youth building I prayed for Tammy, for those who work with her, and for the youth. I prayed for the students in our community who do not know the Lord. I prayed for wisdom and discernment to reach them.

As I mowed around the playground I prayed for the kids and for the Sunday school. I prayed for God to send workers to come along side of those who are currently serving in that ministry. I prayed for the many families in our community who do not know the Lord yet. I prayed for the kids who will be out of school in a couple weeks to have a safe and enjoyable summer vacation.

As I mowed around the parsonage I prayed for my family. I prayed for my marriage and my wife. I prayed for God to keep us in His care and protection and placed a hedge around us to keep the enemy from us.

Mowing among the trees and over the roots I prayed for the many adults who through the years have been the strength and roots of the church. I prayed for them to know how much they are appreciated and for God to provide them with stength and ability to continue serving according to His purpose.

Mowing in the back field I prayed for our community in general. There are so many needs in the community, and so many struggles that are being faced by so many. I prayed for the strength and resources we need to truly connect with our community for the cause of Christ.

One of the things I like about mowing is you can look and see that you have accomplished something. I felt like I had, not just in the grass, but in that quiet time with God. Part of that time of prayer was my surrendering of the "ME" in the ministry, and my repentance of the "ME" in my life. It's not about "ME." It's about HIM. It's not even about "US." It's about THEM. More on that in the weeks to come.

Thank you Lord for growing grass and further opportunities to accomplish something with you.

When You are Angry...Wait!

WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY…WAIT!

Proverbs 14:17
A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated. (NASB)

Something that I have learned the hard way is that the best response to something when I am angry is to wait. It’s not what I want to do. It isn’t what comes naturally. My first reaction is to charge ahead…to defend myself…to deal harshly with whatever or whoever has brought that anger to bear. I have hurt and been hurt as a result of this reaction to anger. But, anger is a part of life…at least a part of my life…so what should we do when we are angry.

Well, this morning I picked up a little book that I had purchased last week for use in the devotionals on our upcoming Wednesday nights when we resume our fellowship suppers. It’s called Proverbs to Live By. The first verse I read was Proverbs 14.17. In some ways it was a lot like a slap in the face.

The thing that immediately stood out to me was that the result of angry actions is foolishness. My experience bears that out. In fact…now that I think about it…when I respond in anger to something I realize now that it makes me look foolish. So, this may be on one of those issues where I need to take my own advice…practice what I preach.

First – Pause and Pray

Frequently the last thing we do is the first thing we should. Wait for a time…whatever the length of time might be…and pray. Ask God to help you with your anger.

Second – Relax and Refrain

Anger is a form of stress—a form of anxiety. The thing that would often prove most helpful is for us to pause and let that tension release before we react. Like a rubber band that is stretched to its maximum length the stress has to be relaxed before it snaps.

Third – Live and Love

We are commanded to love one another by the Lord Jesus Christ. A key element in that love is forgiving people who may offend or hurt us. Live and Love means let life go on. In my experience I have found that anger overshadows so much of life and hides love. We need to be willing to let life proceed and love be shown.

Quick…Slow…Slow

I don’t remember who said it, but I heard once about a couple who had made a commitment early in life never to go to bed angry. The wife said that for the decades of their marriage they kept that promise to each other. They never went to bed angry, but a few times they stayed up several days in a row. Regardless of how sincere you are, you will have to face anger at times. James offers us some sage advice to conclude our thoughts today.

James 1:19
…Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

Did you notice, there is only one thing we are asked to do quickly, that is listen. Everything else is a call to slow down. So, I would encourage you as well. Slow down…wait…let it breath. But, respond to anger in an appropriate way so that you avoid letting the “sun go down on your anger.”

When you are angry…wait.

Our Scar Tissue Issue

Our Scar Tissue Issue

Who we are today is a direct result of our past.
We all have scars and wounds from the words and actions of others and from our own failures and mistakes. But for the Christ-follower this is not the end of the story. I tend to be very good at taking an inventory of my failures and mistakes, probably because I'm so well aware of them, but those same failures and mistakes have been part of what has shaped who I am.

The other part, and the great aspect of this, is what God through His Word and His Spirit has been able to do with these scars. As Ed Young states, "the Spirit of God uses the Word of God to remake us into new creations, these scars from the past become stepping stones to spiritual maturity."

Here are my expanded thoughts on ten key elements Young shares with us from God's word and my experience that can help transform our "Scar Tissue Issue" into a "Pathway to Power and Purpose."

I am Created
We are not a mistake of nature, some haphazardly thrown together combination of elements that crawled out of the primordial muck...God created us...and therefore He put thought and design into us.
For we are God's workmanship. Ephesians 2:10

I am Chosen
God made the choice to redeem us. It's not as if God is strolling along through eternity and looks down at us and says, "I guess you will have to do." He knew us--including our Scar Tissue Issue--and He made the choice for us.
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you...1 Timothy 1:4

I am Protected
We just finished up studying the Prayer of Jabez in our Tuesday night Life Application Community, and the final aspect of the prayer prior to God's answering it was a request for God's protection. God places us in the palm of His hand. He allows things in our lives that shape us and mold us, but ultimately we are protected...remember there is more that what we see, experience, and know in the here and now...there is ETERNITY, and we are kept for that in Christ.
Protect me as you would the pupil of your eye. Psalm 17:8 (NLT)

I am Complete
Wow, do I need to be reminded of that from time to time. See, I have this problem of starting a project and getting either distracted or discouraged in it and moving on to another thing while leaving that one incomplete. I'm so glad that God is not discouraged or distracted while working on me. He provides all that is needed as it is needed, and while I'm still a work in progress He promises to complete the good work He is doing in me.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

I am Victorious
It doesn't "FEEL" that way all the time in my life. But, that is where feeling and faith collide. My feelings often tell me one thing, but faith is not based on feelings, and I can trust by faith what my feelings vehemently deny. That I am victorious in Christ. There are many verses that can reassure us of this, so get in God's Word and learn the difference between what your feeling tell you and what God's Word shows you.
In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

I am Called
The term "Called" is used so often of those who have become vocational ministers that we might lose sight of the fact that all...ALL...believers are called. Called to live for Christ. Called to serve according to our gifts which He has given us. Called to be vessels of light bearing His message. Called to fulfill His purpose and plan for our lives individually and as part of His body, the church. We wonder why we are on this planet, the answer is, WE ARE HERE FOR HIM. He called us for a reason.
God has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace...2 Timothy 1:9

I am Forgiven
The most damaging Scar Tissue Issue I face is the reality of the sin in my past. In an instant an image, a thought, a sound from ages past can produce such immense feelings of guilt and shame that it might seem like I had just committed the offense. I have to be reminded that God has forgiven every sin. As we confess it He is FAITHFUL and JUST to FORGIVE. Learning to "Live Forgiven" is a life-long process, but trust the Lord. Take God at His word when it comes to forgiveness, and...LIVE FORGIVEN.
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

I am Free
Slavery is a difficult concept for us to grasp in the age of democracy and liberty. What we know of it usually comes from history books and movies. However, slavery is very real, and is as prevalent today as it ever was, it is just that we don't recognize it for what it is. See, today the masters over the slaves are things like...DRUG ADDICTION... SEXUAL ABUSE...GREED...SELF GRATIFICATION...DEPRESSION...etc. We are enslaved by SIN. What God has offered us is FREEDOM from enslavement. We no longer have to follow the whim of our former master if we will yield to the will of God.
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

I am Loved
Everyone wants to know that they are loved. We want to know that someone values us and desires us, and wants to be with us. There is no love like the love that God offers us in Christ Jesus. However, we tend to seek the tangible...the gratifying...the common forms of love and neglect the greatness of real love found in God. Find that love and live in that love and you will find the real foundation for all the other loves you experience.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

I am Accepted!
That well known invitation hymn says, "Just as I am without one plea." That's how God receives us. God accepts us. We don't have to clean up perfectly, or make everything right before He will accept us--in fact we can't. It requires what only He can offer to accomplish it. Then He works with us to begin to bring about transformation and change as He shapes us and forms us according to His plan for us. Again, my human tendancy is to TRY...try to do better...try to be better...try to earn it...but I can't. God's plan is not that I TRY but rather that I TRUST. He knows even better than I myself know what my SCAR TISSUE ISSUE is, and He accepts me in spite of it.
But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5.8

So...
Our SCAR TISSUE ISSUE might seem very different from other people around us, but the reality is that we all have them. I encourage you today to let God be God, even with the scars of your past. See what He can do through the transformational power of the Spirit of God and in the power and strength found in the Word of God. I've given you a few verses this morning, but there are more...many more. Let God speak to you through them.

Praying for you...please pray for me.

Blessings,
Pastor Dave

The Wise Man's Foolishness

Robbed of a Blessing

I have often made jokes about how Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I would chuckle and kid about how a man, no matter how wise, could endure living with that many women when living with one woman is a full-time obligation. (Albeit a good obligation that I am happy to experience with the woman I am blessed to dwell with.) I may still joke about it from time to time, but I have a more somber outlook on it today because I have been forced to see how this arrangement robbed these women of a blessing.

Here’s one of the Scripture passages about Solomon’s many wifes and concubines.

1 Kings 11:1-3

King Solomon loved many foreign women in addition to Pharaoh's daughter: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women from the nations that the LORD had told the Israelites about, "Do not intermarry with them, and they must not intermarry with you, because they will turn you away from Me to their gods." Solomon was deeply attached to these women and loved them. He had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and they turned his heart away from the LORD.

As I have studied and read this passage in the past my focus has always been on the “wise man’s foolishness” and how Solomon’s decision to fill his life with all these women “turned his heart from the Lord.” That is a tragic consequence of trying to satisfy the drives and lusts of the human experience in ungodly ways. Human efforts to do anything like this will almost always lead to a “turning away.”

However, I’m beginning to think that an even greater consequence and tragedy lies hidden beneath the image of the man with many wives. The greater tragedy may well be that these thousand or so women never had the opportunity to know the intimacy and deep love of a committed marriage relationship and were treated more like, as one commentator said, “currency to be bartered and traded with.”

Of these multiple wives I believe that God allowed it, but God didn’t permit it. It was not God’s intention for a man to have more than one wife. It’s surprising that even the Godly men of our heritage didn’t seem to heed that, but having looked over the Scriptures it is clear that God’s desire from the very start was that one man would unite with one woman for a lifetime. In the simplest of images we see this in the fact that in the very beginning God merely created one woman for the one man.

So, back to the women who were robbed of the blessing. These women did not have the opportunity to experience the intimacy of knowing and being fully known with a man whose heart and life were devoted to them. Since God intended for this relationship to be an image of His relationship with His people we can surmise that His desire is for a singular devotion to be experienced between the participants in the relationship. When a man has more then one place to devote his heart he has a real heart problem. While the man might be seen as some sort of stud or applauded for his prowess, the collateral damage of his exploits are the half-filled hearts of the women in his life.

I’m challenged by this realization to consider very carefully whether I have divided my devotion with my wife. Of course, there are not 999 other women in my household. I go back to my earlier chuckle, what man could really handle that. However, there might be other things in my life—career, hobbies, past-times—that I might engage in that prevent my wife from experiencing the blessing that is rightfully hers, that of an intimate and deep love with one man who is devoted to her. Peter reminds us that she is our co-heir in grace, therefore she is neither beneath us nor above us, rather she is beside us as a partner in life.

1 Peter 3.7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Solomon is credited as being the wisest of men, and that’s true. But in all of his wisdom we see incredible folly as well. If the wisest of all men can’t keep from falling into foolishness what hope is there for us. I would offer you some of Solomon’s wisest words as counsel. Our hope is that we keep our eyes and hearts focused on God. Solomon penned this after an extended search for meaning in life.

Ecclesiastes 12.13 When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity.

Men, let’s not rob our wives of the blessing of a relationship like God intends us to experience together. A life and love that mirror the relationship of God with His people. A man with a divided heart is a man with a real heart problem.

Blessings,

Pastor Dave