The Other Side of Marriage
As I write this my wife and I are celebrating our twenty-second year of marriage together. In addition, as I write this I am playing the part of nurse, house keeper, and waiter for her as she recovers from surgery. This is what I think of when I say the other side of marriage. See, the vows we took 22 years ago encouraged us to be faithful to one another in times of prosperity, health, good times, and we enjoy those times together. The other side of those life circumstances are times of want, sickness, and bad times. It went like something like this:
“I vow that I will love, honor, and cherish you for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part.”
Let’s face it…we all love the positive sides of those life circumstances, but the “other side” is always there lurking in the shadows. We bask in the times of prosperity, but there are moments when prosperity gives way to poverty. We relish times of good health, but illness, surgery, physical weakness come and challenge us. We enjoy the good times that life offers us, but there are difficult and stressful times that enter our experience as well.
The other sides of marriage have left many broken and wrecked on the rocks of hardship. Facing difficulty brings stressors into a relationship that can unbraid even the tightest of knots. Facing these times of trial with patience, understanding, and most of all an over-covering love are critical if the union is to survive the throes of life.
So, for my anniversary (and her birthday) my gift to her is the continuation of the love I vowed to give her so long ago. Today as I bring her lunch, clean the house, offer her Advil, and do whatever else is needed, I’m fulfilling my part of the other side of our marriage. It may seem like it’s the lesser side, but I have learned something else about these “other sides.” It’s in these moments together that our love has grown stronger and we have grown closer. In 22 years we have faced a variety of “other sides” and because we have made the choice to cling to each other through them all we have ended up closer and stronger.
