Robbed of a Blessing
I have often made jokes about how Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I would chuckle and kid about how a man, no matter how wise, could endure living with that many women when living with one woman is a full-time obligation. (Albeit a good obligation that I am happy to experience with the woman I am blessed to dwell with.) I may still joke about it from time to time, but I have a more somber outlook on it today because I have been forced to see how this arrangement robbed these women of a blessing.
Here’s one of the Scripture passages about Solomon’s many wifes and concubines.
1 Kings 11:1-3
King Solomon loved many foreign women in addition to Pharaoh's daughter: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women from the nations that the LORD had told the Israelites about, "Do not intermarry with them, and they must not intermarry with you, because they will turn you away from Me to their gods." Solomon was deeply attached to these women and loved them. He had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and they turned his heart away from the LORD.
As I have studied and read this passage in the past my focus has always been on the “wise man’s foolishness” and how Solomon’s decision to fill his life with all these women “turned his heart from the Lord.” That is a tragic consequence of trying to satisfy the drives and lusts of the human experience in ungodly ways. Human efforts to do anything like this will almost always lead to a “turning away.”
However, I’m beginning to think that an even greater consequence and tragedy lies hidden beneath the image of the man with many wives. The greater tragedy may well be that these thousand or so women never had the opportunity to know the intimacy and deep love of a committed marriage relationship and were treated more like, as one commentator said, “currency to be bartered and traded with.”
Of these multiple wives I believe that God allowed it, but God didn’t permit it. It was not God’s intention for a man to have more than one wife. It’s surprising that even the Godly men of our heritage didn’t seem to heed that, but having looked over the Scriptures it is clear that God’s desire from the very start was that one man would unite with one woman for a lifetime. In the simplest of images we see this in the fact that in the very beginning God merely created one woman for the one man.
So, back to the women who were robbed of the blessing. These women did not have the opportunity to experience the intimacy of knowing and being fully known with a man whose heart and life were devoted to them. Since God intended for this relationship to be an image of His relationship with His people we can surmise that His desire is for a singular devotion to be experienced between the participants in the relationship. When a man has more then one place to devote his heart he has a real heart problem. While the man might be seen as some sort of stud or applauded for his prowess, the collateral damage of his exploits are the half-filled hearts of the women in his life.
I’m challenged by this realization to consider very carefully whether I have divided my devotion with my wife. Of course, there are not 999 other women in my household. I go back to my earlier chuckle, what man could really handle that. However, there might be other things in my life—career, hobbies, past-times—that I might engage in that prevent my wife from experiencing the blessing that is rightfully hers, that of an intimate and deep love with one man who is devoted to her. Peter reminds us that she is our co-heir in grace, therefore she is neither beneath us nor above us, rather she is beside us as a partner in life.
1 Peter 3.7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Solomon is credited as being the wisest of men, and that’s true. But in all of his wisdom we see incredible folly as well. If the wisest of all men can’t keep from falling into foolishness what hope is there for us. I would offer you some of Solomon’s wisest words as counsel. Our hope is that we keep our eyes and hearts focused on God. Solomon penned this after an extended search for meaning in life.
Ecclesiastes 12.13 When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity.
Men, let’s not rob our wives of the blessing of a relationship like God intends us to experience together. A life and love that mirror the relationship of God with His people. A man with a divided heart is a man with a real heart problem.
Blessings,
Pastor Dave
