A Book to Help the Bi-Vocational Pastor

I have a friend who is a church planting missionary in Vermont. He encourages pastors already in the ministry and also mentors young men who are just starting out in ministry. One of the things he tells them is that most likely they will have to work a second job in order to provide for their families. This is often referred to as bivocational ministry. Very few pastors want to be bivocational. It is hard to work two jobs, but this is the reality that many pastors will face in ministry.

Regardless of how pastors and/or church attendees may feel about bivocational ministry, it is a growing practice in North American church life. Patricia Chang is a research professor at Boston College and has studied many denominations and written extensively about clergy issues. Chang has done extensive research on how bivocational ministry is impacting American denominations of all sizes and theological persuasions. In a major study published in the Pulpit and Pew journal of Duke University, Chang concludes that "the majority of congregations in the United States are small, with fewer than 100 regular members, and cannot typically afford their own pastor." This results in a growing need for more bivocational pastors every year.

My friend in Vermont wanted to help pastors who have to work two jobs, so he wrote a book entitled, Developing Leadership Teams in the Bivocational Church. This book helps both the pastor and the lay leaders understand the importance of sharing leadership in the church. He has been using these principles in churches in Vermont for several years. It has worked very well. I think it work will for other churches too. I want to encourage you to consider buying the book, which is available at Amazon.com and a variety of other online retailers. You can also request it at most Christian bookstores.

THE OTHER SIDE OF MARRIAGE

The Other Side of Marriage

As I write this my wife and I are celebrating our twenty-second year of marriage together. In addition, as I write this I am playing the part of nurse, house keeper, and waiter for her as she recovers from surgery. This is what I think of when I say the other side of marriage. See, the vows we took 22 years ago encouraged us to be faithful to one another in times of prosperity, health, good times, and we enjoy those times together. The other side of those life circumstances are times of want, sickness, and bad times. It went like something like this:

“I vow that I will love, honor, and cherish you for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part.”

Let’s face it…we all love the positive sides of those life circumstances, but the “other side” is always there lurking in the shadows. We bask in the times of prosperity, but there are moments when prosperity gives way to poverty. We relish times of good health, but illness, surgery, physical weakness come and challenge us. We enjoy the good times that life offers us, but there are difficult and stressful times that enter our experience as well.

The other sides of marriage have left many broken and wrecked on the rocks of hardship. Facing difficulty brings stressors into a relationship that can unbraid even the tightest of knots. Facing these times of trial with patience, understanding, and most of all an over-covering love are critical if the union is to survive the throes of life.

So, for my anniversary (and her birthday) my gift to her is the continuation of the love I vowed to give her so long ago. Today as I bring her lunch, clean the house, offer her Advil, and do whatever else is needed, I’m fulfilling my part of the other side of our marriage. It may seem like it’s the lesser side, but I have learned something else about these “other sides.” It’s in these moments together that our love has grown stronger and we have grown closer. In 22 years we have faced a variety of “other sides” and because we have made the choice to cling to each other through them all we have ended up closer and stronger.

Quiet Time on a Lawn Mower

This morning I was out mowing the lawn and praying. It takes a couple hours so it's a good time to pray. As I rode up around the church I prayed for the church. I prayed for each person who is a part of the family. I prayed for the leadership. I prayed for people who are coming to be part of the family. I prayed for the remaining work to be done on the building. I prayed for the changes we are going to be making and for the restoration of our connection and unity in the community of faith.

Mowing around the youth building I prayed for Tammy, for those who work with her, and for the youth. I prayed for the students in our community who do not know the Lord. I prayed for wisdom and discernment to reach them.

As I mowed around the playground I prayed for the kids and for the Sunday school. I prayed for God to send workers to come along side of those who are currently serving in that ministry. I prayed for the many families in our community who do not know the Lord yet. I prayed for the kids who will be out of school in a couple weeks to have a safe and enjoyable summer vacation.

As I mowed around the parsonage I prayed for my family. I prayed for my marriage and my wife. I prayed for God to keep us in His care and protection and placed a hedge around us to keep the enemy from us.

Mowing among the trees and over the roots I prayed for the many adults who through the years have been the strength and roots of the church. I prayed for them to know how much they are appreciated and for God to provide them with stength and ability to continue serving according to His purpose.

Mowing in the back field I prayed for our community in general. There are so many needs in the community, and so many struggles that are being faced by so many. I prayed for the strength and resources we need to truly connect with our community for the cause of Christ.

One of the things I like about mowing is you can look and see that you have accomplished something. I felt like I had, not just in the grass, but in that quiet time with God. Part of that time of prayer was my surrendering of the "ME" in the ministry, and my repentance of the "ME" in my life. It's not about "ME." It's about HIM. It's not even about "US." It's about THEM. More on that in the weeks to come.

Thank you Lord for growing grass and further opportunities to accomplish something with you.

When You are Angry...Wait!

WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY…WAIT!

Proverbs 14:17
A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated. (NASB)

Something that I have learned the hard way is that the best response to something when I am angry is to wait. It’s not what I want to do. It isn’t what comes naturally. My first reaction is to charge ahead…to defend myself…to deal harshly with whatever or whoever has brought that anger to bear. I have hurt and been hurt as a result of this reaction to anger. But, anger is a part of life…at least a part of my life…so what should we do when we are angry.

Well, this morning I picked up a little book that I had purchased last week for use in the devotionals on our upcoming Wednesday nights when we resume our fellowship suppers. It’s called Proverbs to Live By. The first verse I read was Proverbs 14.17. In some ways it was a lot like a slap in the face.

The thing that immediately stood out to me was that the result of angry actions is foolishness. My experience bears that out. In fact…now that I think about it…when I respond in anger to something I realize now that it makes me look foolish. So, this may be on one of those issues where I need to take my own advice…practice what I preach.

First – Pause and Pray

Frequently the last thing we do is the first thing we should. Wait for a time…whatever the length of time might be…and pray. Ask God to help you with your anger.

Second – Relax and Refrain

Anger is a form of stress—a form of anxiety. The thing that would often prove most helpful is for us to pause and let that tension release before we react. Like a rubber band that is stretched to its maximum length the stress has to be relaxed before it snaps.

Third – Live and Love

We are commanded to love one another by the Lord Jesus Christ. A key element in that love is forgiving people who may offend or hurt us. Live and Love means let life go on. In my experience I have found that anger overshadows so much of life and hides love. We need to be willing to let life proceed and love be shown.

Quick…Slow…Slow

I don’t remember who said it, but I heard once about a couple who had made a commitment early in life never to go to bed angry. The wife said that for the decades of their marriage they kept that promise to each other. They never went to bed angry, but a few times they stayed up several days in a row. Regardless of how sincere you are, you will have to face anger at times. James offers us some sage advice to conclude our thoughts today.

James 1:19
…Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

Did you notice, there is only one thing we are asked to do quickly, that is listen. Everything else is a call to slow down. So, I would encourage you as well. Slow down…wait…let it breath. But, respond to anger in an appropriate way so that you avoid letting the “sun go down on your anger.”

When you are angry…wait.

Our Scar Tissue Issue

Our Scar Tissue Issue

Who we are today is a direct result of our past.
We all have scars and wounds from the words and actions of others and from our own failures and mistakes. But for the Christ-follower this is not the end of the story. I tend to be very good at taking an inventory of my failures and mistakes, probably because I'm so well aware of them, but those same failures and mistakes have been part of what has shaped who I am.

The other part, and the great aspect of this, is what God through His Word and His Spirit has been able to do with these scars. As Ed Young states, "the Spirit of God uses the Word of God to remake us into new creations, these scars from the past become stepping stones to spiritual maturity."

Here are my expanded thoughts on ten key elements Young shares with us from God's word and my experience that can help transform our "Scar Tissue Issue" into a "Pathway to Power and Purpose."

I am Created
We are not a mistake of nature, some haphazardly thrown together combination of elements that crawled out of the primordial muck...God created us...and therefore He put thought and design into us.
For we are God's workmanship. Ephesians 2:10

I am Chosen
God made the choice to redeem us. It's not as if God is strolling along through eternity and looks down at us and says, "I guess you will have to do." He knew us--including our Scar Tissue Issue--and He made the choice for us.
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you...1 Timothy 1:4

I am Protected
We just finished up studying the Prayer of Jabez in our Tuesday night Life Application Community, and the final aspect of the prayer prior to God's answering it was a request for God's protection. God places us in the palm of His hand. He allows things in our lives that shape us and mold us, but ultimately we are protected...remember there is more that what we see, experience, and know in the here and now...there is ETERNITY, and we are kept for that in Christ.
Protect me as you would the pupil of your eye. Psalm 17:8 (NLT)

I am Complete
Wow, do I need to be reminded of that from time to time. See, I have this problem of starting a project and getting either distracted or discouraged in it and moving on to another thing while leaving that one incomplete. I'm so glad that God is not discouraged or distracted while working on me. He provides all that is needed as it is needed, and while I'm still a work in progress He promises to complete the good work He is doing in me.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

I am Victorious
It doesn't "FEEL" that way all the time in my life. But, that is where feeling and faith collide. My feelings often tell me one thing, but faith is not based on feelings, and I can trust by faith what my feelings vehemently deny. That I am victorious in Christ. There are many verses that can reassure us of this, so get in God's Word and learn the difference between what your feeling tell you and what God's Word shows you.
In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

I am Called
The term "Called" is used so often of those who have become vocational ministers that we might lose sight of the fact that all...ALL...believers are called. Called to live for Christ. Called to serve according to our gifts which He has given us. Called to be vessels of light bearing His message. Called to fulfill His purpose and plan for our lives individually and as part of His body, the church. We wonder why we are on this planet, the answer is, WE ARE HERE FOR HIM. He called us for a reason.
God has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace...2 Timothy 1:9

I am Forgiven
The most damaging Scar Tissue Issue I face is the reality of the sin in my past. In an instant an image, a thought, a sound from ages past can produce such immense feelings of guilt and shame that it might seem like I had just committed the offense. I have to be reminded that God has forgiven every sin. As we confess it He is FAITHFUL and JUST to FORGIVE. Learning to "Live Forgiven" is a life-long process, but trust the Lord. Take God at His word when it comes to forgiveness, and...LIVE FORGIVEN.
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

I am Free
Slavery is a difficult concept for us to grasp in the age of democracy and liberty. What we know of it usually comes from history books and movies. However, slavery is very real, and is as prevalent today as it ever was, it is just that we don't recognize it for what it is. See, today the masters over the slaves are things like...DRUG ADDICTION... SEXUAL ABUSE...GREED...SELF GRATIFICATION...DEPRESSION...etc. We are enslaved by SIN. What God has offered us is FREEDOM from enslavement. We no longer have to follow the whim of our former master if we will yield to the will of God.
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

I am Loved
Everyone wants to know that they are loved. We want to know that someone values us and desires us, and wants to be with us. There is no love like the love that God offers us in Christ Jesus. However, we tend to seek the tangible...the gratifying...the common forms of love and neglect the greatness of real love found in God. Find that love and live in that love and you will find the real foundation for all the other loves you experience.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

I am Accepted!
That well known invitation hymn says, "Just as I am without one plea." That's how God receives us. God accepts us. We don't have to clean up perfectly, or make everything right before He will accept us--in fact we can't. It requires what only He can offer to accomplish it. Then He works with us to begin to bring about transformation and change as He shapes us and forms us according to His plan for us. Again, my human tendancy is to TRY...try to do better...try to be better...try to earn it...but I can't. God's plan is not that I TRY but rather that I TRUST. He knows even better than I myself know what my SCAR TISSUE ISSUE is, and He accepts me in spite of it.
But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5.8

So...
Our SCAR TISSUE ISSUE might seem very different from other people around us, but the reality is that we all have them. I encourage you today to let God be God, even with the scars of your past. See what He can do through the transformational power of the Spirit of God and in the power and strength found in the Word of God. I've given you a few verses this morning, but there are more...many more. Let God speak to you through them.

Praying for you...please pray for me.

Blessings,
Pastor Dave

The Wise Man's Foolishness

Robbed of a Blessing

I have often made jokes about how Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I would chuckle and kid about how a man, no matter how wise, could endure living with that many women when living with one woman is a full-time obligation. (Albeit a good obligation that I am happy to experience with the woman I am blessed to dwell with.) I may still joke about it from time to time, but I have a more somber outlook on it today because I have been forced to see how this arrangement robbed these women of a blessing.

Here’s one of the Scripture passages about Solomon’s many wifes and concubines.

1 Kings 11:1-3

King Solomon loved many foreign women in addition to Pharaoh's daughter: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women from the nations that the LORD had told the Israelites about, "Do not intermarry with them, and they must not intermarry with you, because they will turn you away from Me to their gods." Solomon was deeply attached to these women and loved them. He had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and they turned his heart away from the LORD.

As I have studied and read this passage in the past my focus has always been on the “wise man’s foolishness” and how Solomon’s decision to fill his life with all these women “turned his heart from the Lord.” That is a tragic consequence of trying to satisfy the drives and lusts of the human experience in ungodly ways. Human efforts to do anything like this will almost always lead to a “turning away.”

However, I’m beginning to think that an even greater consequence and tragedy lies hidden beneath the image of the man with many wives. The greater tragedy may well be that these thousand or so women never had the opportunity to know the intimacy and deep love of a committed marriage relationship and were treated more like, as one commentator said, “currency to be bartered and traded with.”

Of these multiple wives I believe that God allowed it, but God didn’t permit it. It was not God’s intention for a man to have more than one wife. It’s surprising that even the Godly men of our heritage didn’t seem to heed that, but having looked over the Scriptures it is clear that God’s desire from the very start was that one man would unite with one woman for a lifetime. In the simplest of images we see this in the fact that in the very beginning God merely created one woman for the one man.

So, back to the women who were robbed of the blessing. These women did not have the opportunity to experience the intimacy of knowing and being fully known with a man whose heart and life were devoted to them. Since God intended for this relationship to be an image of His relationship with His people we can surmise that His desire is for a singular devotion to be experienced between the participants in the relationship. When a man has more then one place to devote his heart he has a real heart problem. While the man might be seen as some sort of stud or applauded for his prowess, the collateral damage of his exploits are the half-filled hearts of the women in his life.

I’m challenged by this realization to consider very carefully whether I have divided my devotion with my wife. Of course, there are not 999 other women in my household. I go back to my earlier chuckle, what man could really handle that. However, there might be other things in my life—career, hobbies, past-times—that I might engage in that prevent my wife from experiencing the blessing that is rightfully hers, that of an intimate and deep love with one man who is devoted to her. Peter reminds us that she is our co-heir in grace, therefore she is neither beneath us nor above us, rather she is beside us as a partner in life.

1 Peter 3.7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Solomon is credited as being the wisest of men, and that’s true. But in all of his wisdom we see incredible folly as well. If the wisest of all men can’t keep from falling into foolishness what hope is there for us. I would offer you some of Solomon’s wisest words as counsel. Our hope is that we keep our eyes and hearts focused on God. Solomon penned this after an extended search for meaning in life.

Ecclesiastes 12.13 When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity.

Men, let’s not rob our wives of the blessing of a relationship like God intends us to experience together. A life and love that mirror the relationship of God with His people. A man with a divided heart is a man with a real heart problem.

Blessings,

Pastor Dave

Merry What??

(Pastor Dave’s Holiday Rant – Read On, You Might Be Surprised)

OK…It irritates me that in our politically correct society we end up with retailers, who will make the bulk of their annual revenue in the next four weeks, avoiding the use of the word Christmas in their advertising and in-store propaganda. I would like to be greeted at Walmart by a smiling employee saying, “Merry Christmas.” I would like the cashier, who I have just received a receipt that eclipses my height to say more than, “Happy Holidays.” I would like to see advertising from the many stores who will spend billions over the Thanksgiving weekend to get you to step into their store that reminds people of what this holiday is really about, the greatest gift ever give, Jesus.

However, there’s a really good reason why I won’t hear and see these Christmas sentiments this year. It’s not really about being politically correct. It’s not really about corporations and advertisers being anti-Christmas. It’s not because the greeter at the Walmart entrance has been warned about possibly losing his job because he could offend someone who is not a Christian. Would you like to know what this real reason for all of this is?

People don’t believe in Jesus.

I know, mind-blowing isn’t it. People don’t believe in Jesus. If the reason for the season is the birth of Jesus, and people don’t believe in Jesus, then for them it is little more than another holiday, albeit the biggest holiday of the year.

Now, here’s the rub for me. Christian organizations are rallying to the cause of the word Christmas. Buttons, banners, bumper stickers, billboards, and boycotts are showing up everywhere to try and push companies into focusing their ads and store displays on the word Christmas. If a retailer doesn’t use the word Christmas in their ads, with their employee greetings, throughout their store then they are to be shunned.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a committed Christ follower. I believe that Jesus Christ and His miraculous birth are what this time of year is all about. If there is not one card that comes in the mail, one present under my tree, one meal with friends and family I will still be content with knowing Jesus Christ is my greatest gift. My concern is that we are spending a lot of time trying to get people to say Christmas and have forgotten to invest ourselves in sharing the Christ of Christmas with them. We want the greeter at the door to wish us a Merry Christmas, but walk by without any concern for whether or not she knows the Lord Jesus Christ personally. The waiter at the Olive Garden may not have a clue who Jesus is, but he better tell me Merry Christmas as I sign my credit card slip or I will cut his tip.

Here’s what I would suggest. Let’s stop making our focus whether or not the retail industry and its millions of employees with give a passing nod to the word Christ in saying Christmas and start instead focusing on whether or not we have done our part in sharing with them the miraculous and life changing person of Christ. For some, you might be bold enough to talk about Jesus right there on the spot with the. For others maybe a tract or a card will be your way of sharing. Regardless of what your method is, I encourage you to commit to it.

Oh, and one more thing. When you are out and about during the Christmas season set a higher standard. When someone runs into you with a cart overflowing with bargains because they were racing to grab that last premium item off the shelf, respond in such a way that they will be left shaking their head and muttering to themselves about how strange you are because you didn’t do what one might normally do, but you responded as Christ would. Be Christian at Christmas.

Oh….and have a Merry Christmas

Dave “Big D” Bentley

dabent1988@yahoo.com